Monday, September 8, 2014

At least we can find our vaginas.

It’s 9 a.m. Do you know where your vagina is?

In a recent study in the UK, an amazing 50% of women aged 26-35 surveyed could not find a vagina on a diagram. These are the famous millennials who we are counting on to fix the world.
 Question: Where is your vagina?
 Answer: I have no fucking idea.
I will remind you that we’re not talking about rookies here. These gals have had this equipment for upwards of 35 years. And they still can’t identify it in a lineup. In my experience, it was only drunk college boys who had trouble finding the damn thing.
You know who can spot one? Baby boomers. Yup, turns out we know our stuff. Eight in ten women aged 66-75 can spot the ovaries and a whopping 90% can even show you around the womb. (Assuming you want to be shown around.)
Maybe familiarity breeds familiarity. After 75 years, you pretty much know your body’s important landmarks, including its major tourist attractions.
It turns out 65% of young women also say they have a problem using the words vagina or vulva (try not to think of that Seinfeld episode). And nearly 40% resort to code names like “lady parts” or “women’s bits” when talking about, you know, their women’s bits.

There’s actually a serious aspect to all this. In a country where 53 women a day are diagnosed with some kind of gynecological cancer (U.S. numbers here), one in ten 16-35 year olds in the UK said they found it very hard to talk to their doctors about gynecological health. And nearly a third said they avoided going to the gynecologist altogether because they were embarrassed. This is just unacceptable.
On the other hand, I can’t help but wonder how someone who can’t find her vagina can be expected to find a gynecologist.
Anyway, as boomers, we appreciate our many reasons to feel superior to millennials, with their dewy skin and perky breasts (located just below the collarbone, girls!).
And while we may not be using our lady parts as often as we’d like, at least when we need ‘em we know where to find ‘em.

23 comments:

  1. I spent a month in a Vulva one night.
    -drunk college boy

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  2. my breasts, perhaps more appropriately dubbed 'millenials' since that is almost how long they have been mine, might be difficult for the young' uns to located as directed, since they now reside quite a bit south of MY collarbone ;>)

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  3. It's a great presentation line: Hello, my name is Jen, I work in advertisig and I know where my vagina is.

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    1. I think it's a point of differentiation.

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  4. Funny you don't look old enough to be a boomer but I bet you come from a long line of boomers! As for the content I think that is just sad! Wise up youngins

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    1. "Funny you don't look old enough to be a boomer..." My favorite comment thus far!

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  5. Lots of wit, and insight here. However I would expect nothing less given that you guys have it in abundance over at the casa de brocut.

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  6. Maybe it's a testament to the power of advertising, but I've always felt very safe in a Vulva ...

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  7. They don't need to know. They can just look it up in Wikipedia if they have to.

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    Replies
    1. Exactly! Don't get me started on Wikipedia!

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  8. Thanks for the read and the encouragement. (I assume you were being encouraging and not telling me I should keep writing because I need the practice...)

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  9. Sounds to me like a great opportunity for Google.

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  10. Sounds to me like a great opportunity for Google.

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  11. Found you much the same way I found my vajayjay, via The Ad Contrarian. Actually, I wasn't really looking for "lady parts" but another funny blog to read along w/ his, The Bitchy Waiter & injaynesworld. I believe I've found it.

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    1. The Ad Contrarian is a vagina expert.

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  12. Dear Sharon,

    I've looked at a lot of diagrams, and have yet to find a vagina on any of them. Could I be looking in the wrong place?

    No need to answer here. I'll follow your blog for further advice.

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  13. Sharon, I love The Angry Boomer. (Remember when we were supposed to be so happy being the most powerful generation and all?) I thought you might enjoy hearing that one of the actors on Masters of Sex reported that a young woman connected to the show thought she peed out of her clitoris. I'll take a misplaced vagina over a peeing clitoris any day.

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    1. Thanks for the read Diane. Apparently that woman only has a Bachelor's of Sex.

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  14. Hi Sharon, I love The Angry Boomer. (Remember when we were supposed to be happy because we were the most populous and powerful generation ever?) I just read an interview with one of the actors on Masters of Sex. She reported that one of the women connected to the show thought she peed out of her clitoris. I say better a misplaced vagina than a peeing clitoris any day.

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  15. The difference between a bar and a vagina? Men know how to find a bar, and know what to do once they have...

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