The Longmire Quagmire.

In the latest battle between idiots and the rest of us, we baby boomers find ourselves in familiar circumstances: shit out of luck.

This time we have A&E to thank. In a profoundly foolish move, the cable channel cancelled Longmire, its highest-rated drama ever and second-most popular show overall. You know why? The people watching it are too old.

Not too old to see the TV. Not too old to remember when the show is on. Just too frickin’ old to tolerate for even one more minute.

That’s right, people over 50 are so repugnant that A&E is voluntarily giving up 5.6 million loyal viewers just to get away from the stink.

Now in its third season, Longmire is an hour-long crime drama set in rural Wyoming. The show follows Walt Longmire, a gruff-yet-loveable county sheriff, as he solves crimes and imparts wisdom. Think Law & Order meets House meets Brokeback Mountain (minus the gay sex).

The show appeals to an older audience, no question. The median age of its viewers is 60, versus 48 for A&E as a whole. Still, with 5.6 million of these geezers watching week in and week out, you’d think A&E would be better off with them than without.

Not according to A&E senior vice president Dan Silberman. “We sell the shows to advertisers based on the demographics of 18-49 and 25-54, and the audience just wasn’t there.” (In my imagination he speaks like Robbie The Robot from Forbidden Planet, but maybe that’s just me.)

Anyway, you’re absolutely right Mr. Silberman. That audience just wasn’t there. But you know who was? The people with all the fucking money!

In the U.S., people over 50 control about 70% of the wealth. We are responsible for half of all consumer spending and dominate 94% of CPG categories. And get this, people 50+ buy 62% of all new cars, with people 65+ buying 60% more new cars than 18-24 year olds.

Hard to believe A&E didn’t cut these slackers loose a long time ago.

Tomorrow: Business decisions & other stupid excuses.